How Ama Papa Will Help
This is How Ama Papa Does That
Suggested Solutions
Ama Papa helps Single Dad's to be the Best Dad, the Best Man and the Best Ex that they can be. HOW we do that is by helping Single Dad's to recover and / or maintain their MENTAL HEALTH, PHYSICAL HEALTH, EMOTIONAL HEALTH and FINANCIAL HEALTH.
MENTAL HEALTH
- We're not going to get all preachy here! While Mental Health awareness has never been greater here in the UK this is just the start of the solution and there is a great deal more to be said, done and understood. If you're a Single Dad you're likely to have been through some of the most stressful and difficult situations imaginable.
They say moving house is stressful; you've probably had to do that as a result of the break-up. The break-up itself will have taken it's toll. And sadly - and unjustly - as a Single Dad you may well have been deprived of seeing your child or children or may have seen your time with them changed and reduced. This is heartbreaking and it all takes it's toll on your mental health. You may find that you're overwhelmed; trying to sort out work, your finances, fighting for and seeing your kids, processing the break-up and all of the ramifications.
Stress, anxiety, depression, eating disorders, OCD are all possible as a result of the trauma that you've been through and / or are still going through.
Click on the Solutions button to see some suggestions on how to deal with this.
PHYSICAL HEALTH
- With all of that going on in your life there's few men who will respond by getting a good nights sleep, getting onto a healthy diet and finding time to do 30 minutes of exercise a day. Life doesn't work like that. If it did then Ama Papa probably wouldn't be here!
Instead, it's common place to find your sleep pattern is heavily disrupted, you don't have time to cook and eat properly and you either stop eating or you comfort eat. Then you find the most faithful thing in your life is your good old trusty vices; the unhealthy coping mechanisms such as alcohol and cigarettes are back knocking on your door and only too happy to be by your side all the way through this ordeal. If you're anything like me, you welcome them back like long lost friends.
I'm a "tomorrow man"; I'm always quitting smoking tomorrow, doing exercise tomorrow, sorting my diet out, you guessed it, tomorrow. Sadly, one day, tomorrow doesn't come. These coping mechanisms are always just short term, just for today. But aside from costing a fortune - money that could be better spent on something else - they take their toll too. That's why Single Dad's die so much sooner than they need to. The cancers and heart-attacks and such that take their lives 5, 10 or 20 years later are often the resultant ill health that originates from how Single Dad's live their lives while they deal with the stresses of a break-up and all that follows. Suicide rates are well-documented. What often goes under the radar is how many men, how many Single Dad's, kill themselves the slow way by simply not taking care of themselves for many years before the bell tolls.
Click on the Solutions button to see some suggestions on how to deal with this.
EMOTIONAL HEALTH
- You're a bloke, right? So you can't cry. At least not in front of anyone. And we rarely ask for directions when we're actually lost. So how likely is it that we will, unprompted, tell someone that we're struggling and that we need help...? We're MEN! We're strong and tough and resilient and we don't need anyone. Getting angry is Okay; anger is manly. But getting upset; not us.
As you might well know, that's an out of date chapter from the Man-Manual. We do get upset. We get sad. We cry. We feel alone. We feel lonely. We miss our kids. We sometimes miss our ex's. And we often miss being a family. Sometimes it makes us angry. Sometimes it makes us sad. Sometimes that sadness becomes a way of life. And when someone asks if we're Okay we say "Yeah, I'm good thanks" when the truth is, we're far from it.
As men - and as Single Dad's - we put on brave faces and we "man up". We hide our pain and therefore we hide our damage. Like putting a bit of tape over a warning light on the car dashboard or turning up the volume on the radio so we can't hear that suspicious knocking somewhere in the engine, we cover the warning lights that are trying to tell us that we need help, we need repairs and we need, for want of a better word, a service. We choose not to see the signs, knowingly or even unwittingly, or we choose to ignore them. Then one day we crash or we fail to start. And inevitably, just like the car when we finally have not choice but to take it into the garage, we find that the damage is far worse than if we'd addressed it at the start.
Click on the Solutions button to see some suggestions on how to deal with this.
FINANCIAL HEALTH
- Hey, how many of us are well off, affluent or even comfortable money-wise? Most are carrying some debts or burdens. Along comes a break up and your finances are going to take a few heavy punches. You're a Single Dad which means you're possibly going to have pay for mediation or court cases and a solicitor. The likelihood is you're going to have to pay Child Maintenance, too. At one point in my life my ex was earning over £30k a year; I was furloughed through covid19 and earning
just £746 plus around £70 of Universal Credit; I had our little girl 60% of the time, paying for her meals, food, clothes and keeping her entertained and I was still ordered to pay her Mam Child Maintenance.
There's potential house moves, sharing of assets and it's commonplace to find that as a Single Dad you're out there buying all of things (like baby monitors, high-chairs, baby-proofing, clothes, toys, beds etc) for your new home that you've already bight once with your ex and your kids and that you've now left behind.
This time of your life can be a financial minefield and Ama Papa is here to help you negotiate that and make it to a safe place with your head, heart and wallet in tact.
Click on the Solutions button to see some suggestions on how to deal with this.
